Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The Perfect Shitstorm

Wait for it, it's all coming...but for now, here's a preview (or review from the rearview):

1. My daughter (Shelby) is arrested and in jail in LA (CA), along with baby daddy (Ebony), charged for attempted murder and burglary.  Her baby, Ellie, is in foster care and I (and my ex husband, Mike) am currently trying to get custody, but the bureaucracy in California blows chunks.  Story is though; she, Ebony and Ellie were coming out of the library when Shelby's ex boyfriend (George) approached and started an altercation with Ebony.  Fighting ensued, Shelby pulled knife from her purse and began stabbing George to defend Ebony.  Both were arrested, George was hospitalized, and Ellie placed in protective custody.  Ebony and Shelby have both signed parental rights over to us, but there is an obnoxious "process" that must first be completed before we get Ellie.  We have to be investigated, house and individually - to make sure the kid won't be going to a thug-like household.  Oh, and found out Shelby is preggers - with a baby girl - due November 22nd.  So, we'll be acquiring two kiddos in about a month.
2. Having to short-sale my condo and move back to Monroe, with Mike.  I'll be moving into the basement apartment, but I've been preparing the rooms for the kids.  That also means I'll be leaving the city - which is breaking my heart.  It really, really hurts.  However, I am glad that Mike is accepting and willing to take us in and become a parent, for his step grandkids.  He's a good guy.
3. My mom finally got moved to neuro rehab about three weeks ago, but she's itching to regain her independence so much so that she's pretty-much scheming her way out and plans on signing herself out of rehab tomorrow to return to her apartment.  She has lost most control of her right arm and with each seizure, that moves into the loss of her right leg.  She's very stubborn (glad it skipped a generation) and refuses to let her body take the time it needs to heal.
4. As I was on my way to Mike's about two weeks ago, to start working on Ellie's room, a woman turned left on Ponce/Scott and ran into me, forcing me to crash my car.  I ran over the curb, a street sign (pulled it out of the ground), and I've been in a rental car for about two weeks now.
5. Jay and I broke up.  It's been a long time coming.  We both love and care for each other very much and have a great time together, but it's just not in the cards for us.  I don't regret our time together and I'll always cherish our time together - the crazy ups and downs (which were aplenty).  We've had many breakups and get-back-togethers, but this is the final one.  I wish him well and hope he finds happiness.  His family is near and dear to my heart and I hope to stay in their lives.  They are good people - he comes from good stock.  I also hope to stay in touch with and see Ben when he visits.  He's a smart one, not to mention a little cutie.  Sometimes I think it's the collateral damage that makes the cut hurt the most.

So, that's the outline for the next several blogs to come.  But, finally, I wrote it down.  One thing that will be therapeutic is my return to writing.  That will help me get through all of this right now, and the future.  So, changes, they are a coming.  Stay tuned.

Here are some photos of happenings.

Ellie's room (formerly Shelby's room) is coming along.  He'll be five November 30th.

Shelby and Ellie when we went to the Grand Canyon earlier this year.

 Slowly getting the nursrey pulled together.  This room used to be my office at Mike's.

My Condo:

Mike's house in Monroe, GA (which is about halfway between Atlanta and Athens - but closer to Athens):

 Finally leaving the hospital on the way to rehab.

Her TV in the rehab place.  It fell off the bracket and was being propped up on the bedside table so she could watch it.  Her initial roommate was named Mildred, but mom kept calling her Evelyn.  I don't think either one of them cared much about the error.

My car:


Jay's grandmother's (Lurline) 100'th birthday celebration at the Braves - she's a huge fan.


Kay Spencer said...

Oh darling - I had no idea! It is a shitstorm! What I wanted in the midst of my own shitstorm? Reliable, drama-free soft places to fall in the form of friends who can share stability when the ground is ever shifting beneath your feet. Call on me any time, friend. Keep writing.

Paula said...

Thanks, Kay. I definitely will. Hope to see you soon.

Kari Delaney said...


What can I say? My heart hurts for you so very much. You have so much going on right now. I am extremely thankful that Mike is helping you during this time. I know that your relationship with Shelby has been strained at times, but this is a true example of the love you have always had for her.

I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep up posted.

Paula said...

Thank you, Kari. You've always been such a sweet, caring and wonderful friend.

Leslie Wardell said...

Paula, You are an amazing woman. You must be to not only be a friend of my Son but also our family I love you for what you are doing even though it has been forced on you.
I have had a lot of CRAP in my life but you are dealing with some serious SHIT.
You are stronger than you know! You will find Joy in the children. I miss that every day being so far away...