Sunday, June 1, 2008

Maybe I'm My Worst Problem

When I first starting thinking about writing this bog, I had intended on titling it "Men suck!" I planned to ramble on about how most of the men in my life had failed me in some way, with their flawed characters and/or personality traits. As I was mentally reviewing a lot of these behaviors, several of my female friends popped in my head, as well. So, then I started to rethink the title and decided the more appropriate name of the blog should just be "People Suck!" Further thought brought me to the conclusion that I am the common denominator in all of the problematic and dysfunctional relationships I've been reflecting upon. So, that is why I decided on the more apt title, "Maybe I'm My Worst Problem."

I don't write this to seek sympathy or garner pity in any way. I'm truly trying to reflect on my life--my behaviors, thoughts, emotions, desires, logic, etc--to gain some sort of insight in pursuit of happiness (or increased happiness). That stated, I seem to have some masochistic tendencies. It seems I tend to surround myself with people who hurt me - not so much physically (which has happened in the past), but emotionally. I recently started studying several personality and behavioral traits of some close friends and realized there are a lot of similarities. I wonder what it is about these people that attract me. More importantly, how can I identify it and change, or ignore, that attraction in the future?

That's it for now.