Thursday, November 7, 2013

Lots of changes in just past week.

I haven't posted in a few days and quite a lot has happened during those days.

1.  My mom died the day after my last post.
2.  Drove to Knoxville and signed the papers for her cremation, drove back the same night because I had to fly to California the next morning.
3.  Flew to LA for the dependency hearing, the next day and was awarded temporary custody of Ellie - that day.
4.  It took pretty much all day for the court to get the paperwork in order for me to leave with Ellie.
5.  Left the courthouse with Ellie, drove to his foster home and collected his belongings.  We tried to make it back in time to Trick-or-Treat, but it got too late too soon and opted for a cozy dinner instead.
Ellie said goodbye to Mrs. Brown, his foster parent for the past two months.

6.  The place I was staying is an adult-only community, so we booked tickets back to Georgia.  Leaving as soon as possible served several purposes - mainly getting Ellie home with his family and into a routine, so he can start feeling safe, secure and like a kid - not having to worry about his basic needs.  Mike had a work trip, and Shelby isn't due for a couple more weeks, so I could be there to help him get acclimated to his new home, routine, etc...
7.  Some idiot decided to shoot people at LAX, about an hour after we booked our tickets.  It was a day of pure hell.  Here's a link to the photos I took during the whole ordeal.
8.  We ended up having to stay the night in a hotel and catch an early flight the next morning.  It was Ellie's very first time on a plane.  He did great!

9.  Mike teaches at Kennesaw State University on Saturdays, so Jay was kind enough to pick us up from the airport and drive us to Monroe.  Ellie loved his room and went into a kid version of "information overload" spastic running around like cat does when they have those crazy moments.  I popped a Xanax, observed the activity, then reeled it in and started laying down some house rules.

10.  On Sunday, Mike and I thought it would be good to do something fun with Ellie so we took him to the Yellow River Game Ranch.  I have mixed emotions about that place, but it works to keep a four-year-old occupied  and engaged for a few hours - petting, feeding, and running down chickens and peacocks.

11.  Once Mike and I learned that we would eventually get Ellie, we placed him on all of the Pre-K waiting lists with the schools and daycare facilities in the area that offer it.  We were able to get him into Walton Creative Learning.  However, he had to get some vaccines to be current and we had to complete a shit-ton of paperwork.  Nonetheless, he was a trooper getting the injections, only requiring four adults to restrain him for two shots and I drank wine as I completed the mind-numbing paperwork that evening.  Mike had to leave for the airport for his flight for his conference.  My car is still not repaired, so we had to rent a car so I'd have transportation in Mike's absence this week.
12.  Tuesday morning was the big day!  Ellie started school and he did great!

13.  Luckily, Shane (my son) and Jon (my cousin) have been helping clean out mom's apartment, since I'm unable to do it.  Shane drove to Atlanta today to deliver a few things I wanted, including mom's cremains.  I'd been holding it together pretty well, but holding the box of her ashes really created a hurt inside that was like a punch to the heart.  Shane and Ellie played, we all went to dinner and Shane had to drive back to Knoxville.  This is an oversimplification of the day - which was actually very emotionally draining, touching, sweet, and just a bundle full of emotion.  Shane's visit threw off our routine we had started and caused Ellie to have a hard time falling asleep, but it will be fine.  We'll get back on track tomorrow.

14.  Mike comes back from his business trip late tomorrow night, so I will have a bit of a respite on Friday.  Friday is also the day the car repair shop said my car should be ready to go.
15.  I've been trying to get the apartment downstairs ready for me to move in - but that's been slow-going due to all of the other stuff.  I still don't have a closing date for my condo, which is good, since the apartment is not yet ready for me to move in it, and I don't have the time to move right now.  My heart is still broken for having to move away from Midtown.  I'm painting downstairs, the apartment, to try and make it as cozy and comfy and make it "my own space" - just really really wish it were in Midtown or Virginia Highlands or Decatur, or even inside the perimeter (insert sad pouty face here).
16.  After Mike teaches Saturday, I'm returning to my condo for the rest of the evening and then flying back to California on Sunday.  I'll be out there until Shelby gives birth.  She's due November 22nd.  Once the baby is born, I'll come back and then it'll be two kiddos.  But at least that part will mostly be over and I'll be able to focus on closing and getting moved.
17.  Jay is coming out for a weekend for a nice little get-away, the week before she's due.  That'll be a nice little getaway. In one of my previous blogs I wrote that we broke up - which we did - but he's really wanting to try and give this one more chance.  My heart hurts, because I do love him and we have a good time together, but if this is going to work, then it's going to take a lot of nurturing (on both of our parts) to keep it going.  Unfortunately, I'm a little overwhelmed right now and so he's gonna have to pull a lot more weight than he's had to in the past.  I guess we'll see if he's up for the challenge.  I do know this - I don't have the luxury of time to play games of the heart anymore.  I hope it works.  We'll see.
18.  The other good thing about me being out in LA, besides being there for the birth of the baby, is having the ability to talk with her lawyers.  I'll also get to attend a hearing that's set for November 12th and I can see her for visitations.

So, that's a quick update of things that's happened over the last week.

Oh, almost forgot: I've been looking for a "time-out" chair.  Jon sent the perfect one with Shane.  It's perfect and I love it!

Going to bed now.  Goodnight, Moon.                                                              


Leslie Wardell said...

Paula, My heart breaks for you and I am tired just reading about all that you have done since I last saw you. Seems like you have managed well despite all the obstacles. I am glad that you are still involved with Jay as you didn't need any more loss in your life right now and he makes you smile...
It is a weird feeling holding the ashes. It makes it real. Take your time with that as grief will come in waves and takes a LONG time to recover from the finality of death. I am bracing myself for the holidays by not spending Thanksgiving with any of my family, but with my BFF Diane.
Thinking of you XXX Leslie

Paula said...

Thanks, Leslie. I'm sure you'll have a great Thanksgiving dinner. I'll be thinking of you. When you planning on coming back to Atlanta?