Sunday, January 8, 2012

Paperwork! day I'll find love that'll want to be with me no matter where I am, nor what time it is. Until then, I'll be filling out 39 pages of fucking divorce papers (which, in my opinion is enough to keep someone married). Court date is set for the 25th, by the way.......


Leslie Wardell said...

Hi Paula,
I can understand your feelings about the divorce. At least Mike is a decent guy and treats you with respect. In my own case Barry had degenerated into a deadbeat, alcoholic pathetic slacker Dad, so at the time of the paper signing (which was actually longer than your separation) there was little affection between us.
He had delusions about my relationship with my boyfriend and hallucinated about being in his apartment where I had closets full of dresses. He was driving a cab at the time and Rocky frequently used his company but never had him as a driver.
It was actually a relief to have that chapter close in my life.
It wasn't until Zak became ill, that we started speaking again.
My girlfriend AKA "Crazy Pat" and I celebrated the decree by getting really liquored up that night. I laughed when I saw that episode of Six Feet Under where the woman was rejoicing in her divorce and sticks her head up through the moon roof while her friend was driving the car and gets slammed by a hanging sign! That could have been us.
At least I got the house in lieu of the $20,000 in back child support and continued to pay the mortgage off.
It's funny. Rocky was killed 12 or so years ago but I still have dreams about him, especially when I am scared and insecure, which seems to be most of the time these days.
I think it is because he was strong, and I knew I could lean on him, depend on him and count on him. He was 11 years older and treated me like gold. We kept our lives separate. I worked for him, with him, but our relationship took place on his turf. He wasn't interested in raising kids so I ended it after 5 years, hoping I could meet someone who was. Never happened. I should have just accepted the way things were as I made really bad choices after that.
So, fill out the paperwork and get on with it. Seems like Jay is working out , Yes?
Love you like a Sister/Mom, or maybe an Auntie/Friend...

Paula said...

Thanks, Les. Love you too!