Thursday, December 8, 2011

Cha, Cha, Cha, Changes..........

So many different things going on in my life......sometimes it's hard to keep up. Here are two:

Physical

Peri-menopause - basically turning crazy (err, crazier - especially at times when it's completely inconvenient). So, for about a year now, I've been experiencing peri-menopausal sysmptoms: mood swings, weight gain, night sweats, insomnia, depression, anxiety, foggy brain (more than regular) and short-term memory loss. It's been a real blast for me and everyone involved with me (that's sarcasm). There have been two really bad instances when all of the symptoms happen at once - about six or seven months ago and then also for about the last two weeks. It totally blows. All of this is about five years earlier than the average, but nonetheless, it's happening. I found a blog the other day (http://www.theperimenopauseblog.com/) that's helped me believe I'm not completely crazy, but it's still very difficult to deal with - especially since I'm pretty much a control freak and I can't control anything that's happening inside me.

Emotional

Divorce - even though we've been separated since 2007, my divorce is being finalized. We've been very nice to each other during the entire separation and it's something that needs to be done (and should've been done awhile back), it's finally coming to fruition. It's not a fun process and with the hormonal thing going on, it's not been something I've been dealing with very well. I need to decide if I'm keeping his name (Martinez), or if I wanna change my last name - like to my maiden or birth name. I do know that since I've changed my last name (from Carter to Martinez) it's been harder to get job interviews. I guess potential employers think I might not be able to speak very good English and just move onto the next candidate.

I do have some amazing friends that have been there for me and try to help me with both of these. When I think about my life compared to others who are suffering, I know I'm really lucky and my problems pale in comparison.

I've got some funny stories I'd like to document and think everyone would find them funny, but I need either less or more wine to write them all out. Tonight, I just wanted to get something down as a start. I've written many blogs in my head, but getting them from there to here is a struggle I don't wanna take the time to make sometimes. I think they're worth writing and reading though - so I'll eventually get them out.

Until that time: Cheers!

2 comments:

Lady Vanishes said...

OMGosh, You blogged! I just checked tonight just in case..

I am so sorry about the hormone changes. I do not look forward to when that comes. I can't imagine what you are feeling. I think I might feel as if my body was betraying me. My body should behave in a certain way and I know I will struggle when it is my turn.

I am proud of you for taking care of your divorce. I don't want to say I'm glad, because you have lost someone you loved. I can't believe it has been so long since you two separated. I must say that I like Jay. I hope he treats you well. I love seeing you smile. You are extremely beautiful and your smile makes me feel as if you are filled with joy and happiness. Which is what I want for you. You are extremely deserving of peace of heart.

I am so HAPPY you blogged. I still have that Love Letter you wrote 5 or 6 years ago and then removed from Myspace.

Drink some more wine and blog!

Even though we have never met in person, I want you to know how much I do care about you. <3

Paula said...

Thanks, Kari. You're such a great person. I hope everyone knows how lucky they are to have you in their life.