Thursday, September 6, 2012

Lester Burnham is my alter ego

So, I'm at that point in my life (again) that I kind of need to re-invent myself.  Translated, that means it's time to get a "real" job again.  I've been doing event planning and consulting and whatever other projects my business partner and I can manage to serve up.  But he's now got a full-time job, another beautiful child, and a family - so our projects sometimes become (understandably) overwhelming for him to manage in addition to everything else.  I believe we will continue to do a few staple projects (mainly the 48 Hour Film Project) together, but it's time for me to find something in addition to those.  The problem is, I don't know what I want to do.

I do know, I feel a lot like this:

My background is in management, marketing, etc. but I don't really feel much into that either. I have a great education, and am pretty business savvy, but I often feel like an interview with me might go something like Lester Burnham's interview at Mr. Smiley's from American Beauty:

Once, when my daughter (Shelby) was around seven or eight, we went to First Night Atlanta - the big New Year's Eve party Atlanta hosts every year.  We were in the "family" section part of the giant street party since they had huge blowup bouncy things, face painting and other stuff kids seem to enjoy.  Well, needless to say, the place was packed with people.  The lines for the jumpy things and face painting were extremely long.  We walked from one attraction to another hoping to find shorter lines, so she might get to partake in some of the New Year's Eve excitement of the event I had been building up inside her for days.  (Sometimes, kids would prefer to do absolutely nothing so events and outings take work - creating anticipation, mystery and the want to go.)  Well, after walking around for about an hour, Shelby immediately halted, made a huge right-foot stomp to the ground, raised both hands and shouted, "I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FUN, RIGHT NOW!"

I knew just how she felt.  I feel that way a lot.  Often times, I think back about how things were going to be different when I grew up.  I was going to do fun things - all the time!  But, we all learn soon enough that most of the time, living isn't as fun as we once thought - or making a living isn't as fun, rather.  When I went into the film industry, I thought that I was finally getting that job that was going to make earning a living fun.  I do admit, the events, movies, meeting people are fun, but planning and managing events are often like herding cats.  It gets exhausting.  Finding sponsors (asking people and companies for money and free product) is exhausting and deflating because, more often than not, you get turned down, or rejected.  Feeling rejected is not fun - even if it's "just business."  It is, however, the most "fun" industry in which I've worked.

So, I guess I should close this for now.  I wanted to write though because I kinda feel like I've lost my mojo and writing has always helped me get it back a little, probably because expressing myself helps me to get back on a track, old or new.  I used to write often and always got great feedback.  I loved writing funny stuff and hearing how much people enjoyed it. Maybe I'll start trying to do a bit more of that.  Well, this was fun - and, I didn't even have to wait in any lines.

1 comment:

Leslie Wardell said...

Hi Lester...glad you are back. I'm trying to get back into my blog too as my love of FB is waning..